Every woman trying to conceive knows what the 2 week wait means. Its the longest two weeks of your life! If you haven’t read my previous blog on Endometriosis and Infertility go read it before you continue to read this so you have a little better understanding of what I am personally going through.
(I also wanted to mention I’m not the best writer.. I had my mother in law proof read my last blog because it sounded like a 5 year old wrote it.. and it was all over the place. I write as I think so just keep that in mind) sorry in advance!
In February I was excited to start my first round of Femara (generic name is letrozole) this is an oral drug which can be an effective fertility treatment for women with ovulation problems, or for those with unexplained infertility. Remember when I told you my left ovary has a 4cm endometrial sack around it? Well, that means that Im basically only relying on my right ovary to produce follicles. Oh yeah and my follicle blood count was low.. I know I know… what else could possibly be wrong with me!? So, anyways the doctor started me on Letrozole, you take it on day 3-7 of your menstrual cycle. I had no idea what to expect being on this medication… I was hit like a ton of bricks! The first side effect I noticed is spotting for about 1.5 weeks after your period. My periods only last 3 days so I was bleeding for like 2 weeks! Next was the ACNE, and Oh My God my face broke out so bad, I cried it was so bad. If I didn’t have to leave my house I didn’t. And then the constipation… Yep! I got so grumpy because I was so backed up (TMI) but its true! I mean what kind of drug is this?!?! Just to name a few other side effects- Bloating, nightmares, hot flashes, red hot itchy hands (such a weird one) headache for a week straight and PMS! I’ll admit I get a little pms before my period but I turned into a such a brat, I was bitching at everything. I feel so sorry for my husband every time I take this medicine. He’s really understanding and knows its just the hormones and just does what I say. Lol 🙂 He’s such a trooper. On day 12-14 you start taking ovulation tests and go in to see your doctor for an ultrasound to see how the Letrazole is working. They look at your follicles and measure how big they are. I averaged 2-4 follicles mainly on my right ovary which is still pretty low and they were about 12-24 mm in size. They want to see them at about 20-30mm big. You continue to take ovulation tests until you get a positive and start timed intercourse .. You basically have to do the “baby dance” for a week straight… haha this is definitely easier Said that Done.
This is where the 2 week wait comes in. I waited a few days to start noticing for any changes.. and anytime I noticed any change in my body I thought I was pregnant! A little cramp here, some spotting there, cervical mucus, frequent urination, gas, bloating, increased appetite, sore breast.. I mean I had it all the first month (or was it all in my head?) I wrote down every symptom I had until I literally went crazy. I would tell my husband that “I am so excited I know its going to happen this month!” We prayed every night for God to Bless us with a little baby and kept very positive. As you may or may not know, I am a beauty blogger so I watch a lot of youtube vidoes and last year started watching pregnancy vlogs and woman with their journey TTC. After watching countless videos on TTC lots of woman said you can start testing for pregnancy as soon as 8 days past ovulation and see a Positive test! So I tested and it was negative. I anxiously waited a few more days then tested again, Negative. Day 11 comes along, I tested and it was negative. How could this be? I am having all these symptoms that every pregnant person talks about, so why is it negative!!!!? Day 14 comes and I start my period. I now know the meaning of heartbreak. All this anticipation that I built up, the waiting, the testing, the praying all for what? It literally feels like I wasted 3 weeks out of the month for nothing.
I took the Letrazole February and March then took a break from it in April just to see what would happen and to see if we could TTC without medicine. I went back on it in May and this month (June) am taking another break. We will still continue to “baby dance” but giving my body a break from this medicine is what I need.
I am constantly looking for answers. I read so many blogs and watch so many videos that I ask myself when is enough? When should I just throw my hands in the air and give up.? Giving up means I’m a failure and I don’t want to live knowing I could have done more.
Not sure how to end this blog, other than I will keep you updated on my progress.